I’m currently working on an essay for admission to a second year in esp but i would be taking a second year course and two first year electives. Probably taking some sort of business related course, marketing, advertising or some sort of management type course. I just want to work in a some sort of business setting.

Hopefully then I can work my way into the video game industry, which would be amazing.

What is innocence anyways? Old and conservative people put a positive spin on it, like the things they’ve seen and heard should never be forced on another person. But I believe that people should expose themselves gradually to things like violence, drugs, and nudity to name a few things. (expose themselves to drugs btw, not dive head first into them.)

I’m not trying to say that I support mindless violence, or violence in any way, or for that matter prostitution. That stuff causes too much pain and I’m totally against it obviously. (there are a few instances where prostitution can be done with class and in a non-damaging way but for the most part its not pretty).

That being said, What is the problem with violence in movies as long as the people watching the film are educated enough to understand that this is a completely false reality and that violence is not the answer? I don’t believe there is anything wrong with watching rape on television as long as it is in the context of acting, and that the actors are completely aggreeable to performing it.

Why ban a movie that is honestly a work of art? If its too much for you to handle than don’t watch it. I completely agree that a movie like A Clockwork Orange is way too much for a younger audience, but there is no reason for banning it.

Yet another reason why I’ve decided religion is not for me.

I stood there kind of shocked for a couple of seconds and then said: Why?  She then proceeded to go on about how she has lent me $800 and that i had agreed to pay it off within a couple of months. I said So whats the problem? I’m getting paid this week, and i’ll put in like $250-300. she says: Thats great Michael.  i say: So i’m cool to get the game then? she says: NO!! You need to stop wasting money on video games, and start thinking about your future!

I actually nearly lost it. Then we went on and started talking about other things and eventually we came to the topic of why i’m not coming to church. I told her it was irresponsible of her to force feed me her religion. The following words that came out of her mouth were priceless. “You would have rather we raised you with no morals or ethics?”

I’ll let that sink in for a while.

I actually think my mum displays the exact contents of her brain sometimes. You just have to be ready for them. Anyway I ripped her apart for that one. You know.. So people who aren’t christian are evil? without morals? I was almost laughing. Anyway, eventually my dad came in and I explained the situation to him and he said that I should use the game as a reward for accomplishing the following things.

-Finish exams well.
-Get a second job.
-And apply for College and get that ball rolling.

Which seems absolutely reasonable, and i think that its a good idea. My mum was completely quiet for the rest of the conversation. I felt kind of sorry for her.

I hope that by slowly giving them hints about things that they will be ready when i drop the bomb that maybe University isn’t the right idea for me. I wan’t to eventually own and operate a store or franchise in which I have complete control over things like prices, the layout of the store, theme, and name among other things. And I think that College will allow me to do this much more efficiently than University

But in general, I just want to be happy, have a wife who enjoys the things that I do, and hopefully raise some kids who are succesful in their own lives. That shouldn’t be that much to ask should it? To be happy? I hope not.

Anyway, I really just want to accomplish some sort of education that I can be proud of. After that, I think i’ll be fine.

He creates a world in which there is perfect balance apparantly, even though all the other animals get shafted in the deal, where man can grow and prosper. But for some reason God decides to have a little bit of fun with us. If God is perfect, then he is perfectly capable of creating another perfect being. Why did he choose to create us stupid? greedy? jealous? even sometimes ugly? I don’t understand why someone who loves us would create an imperfect world that causes terrible disasters. Countless people die each year because this world is in its beta stage? What kind of God are we worshipping when he presents us with glitchy products to live on?

I’ve tried to make the last few sentences humourous, hopefully it worked out, but think about it for a second. God basically created a fun little sandbox to play in and it seems long ago he got bored and made up some bullshit about leaving it to ourselves. And no more can the residents of Animal Crossing take care of a few weeds, can we take care of ourselves. Because we are inferior products from a bored God who moved on to another game a long time ago.

If I get to the pearly gates, and God is greeting me and saying “Welcome Child, Welcome Home”. I’ll stand there and reject the whole thing and say “Fuck You!”

But then again he really doesn’t give us a better option does he? Captain Evil is sitting there waiting for whoever he can get his hands on so maybe I might forgive him and accept his offer. That is, if he apologises to me first.

I have been busy lately, not much time to write about much of anything. Here is what I shall post for today though. Some music, art, and game talk.

been listening to:

WHAT I BEEN PLAYS:

ARTS:
haha loss of pixles sjdhbl

SPEEDPAINT

And to the bulk of nothing. I got nothing. Maybe a little personal talk is in order?

No. I really think not. However, it couldn’t hurt. I think that I am maybe just a little too lazy at the moment to spill.

A summary however, is quite feasible.

School, do not give two shits. I hate it. I am just sticking it through to make a friend smile a little longer. Going to college in sept. to get my GED and what not.

Work, I need a job asap.

Family, haha fuck that.

umm. thats all.

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